This short story, I wrote one night when I could not sleep, I wrote it completely in the little window where you place your content on associate content, without editing. It probably needs to be re-written some day.
http://voices.yahoo.com/pray-2023490.html?cat=44
Pray
Pray Because Someone is Dying, Someone is Slipping Away
As he drove down the road he noticed the daylight was rapidly fading, in fact it was rapidly getting dark. As he drove he looked around, there seemed to be nothing on this road. Excepting a few trees, dogs, and scattered houses, as he drove he shivered slightly. Why he could not tell. It was as if he had just looked into his own casket, seeing his lifeless body there. That was an unnerving thought; he shuddered as the thought once again crossed his mind.
It had been a long day, seemed everything that could go wrong had gone wrong. He had argued with his ailing parents, his fiancé had threatened to break up with him, his boss had not been happy to say the least all day. But this had happened many years ago why was he reliving in his mind that day once again?
He was glad the day was coming to a close; he would stop on his way home, and get a bite to eat, maybe a drink to relax. Then he would go home, take a shower sit down in his favorite chair, maybe play a video game, or watch a movie, before going to bed. The day would start the over again in the morning. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day. (But this was a memory of yesteryear, long forgotten).
Well that was the plan anyway. But as he left the diner his mind was distracted, his thoughts were on many things, and he had driven this route many times before, why should this time be any different.
(Distraction seemed to follow him most days now, why had he came this way, he knew better, this road was haunted he knew, and he knew why.)
As he left the bar having enjoyed himself for the first time all day, his meal had been exceptionally good, and the bar maid had kept the drinks coming, he had relaxed and felt much better. Leaving the bar he stopped at the gas station to pick up a couple of items before going home.
(Thoughts from the past nagged at him distracting his making it seem as if he were reliving that day, but it was only in his mind, he tried to push the thoughts from his mind.)
Later he would wish he had never stopped by the bar on this particular day, it would be a day of many regrets. As he walked in the store he noticed a young man buying some chips at the counter, he seemed to be tired. He remembered he had often seen this boy walking or riding a bike around town, in fact he had often screamed out his car window at this boy and those with him. Thinking this to be very entertaining, as he could see no real reason anyone would want to walk rather than drive. But today he just glanced at him, not really paying any attention whatsoever to him.
(Memories were flooding his mind even as he tried to push these thoughts from his mind. This did not happen today; it was years ago he thought again. But even as he thought on those things he saw the young man look back at him seemingly to mock him. No not again he thought. As he tried harder to push these thoughts from his mind the memory of that day seemed to mock him, his mind played tricks on him. Why can't I forget he thinks to himself once again.)
This would haunt him all the days of his life. The young man left the store, seemed to be in a hurry, but he had often noticed that to be the case, he noticed as he left walking he walked very fast. Well he needed to make his purchase, as he waited in line he thought over his upcoming marriage. His fiancé was very trusting loved him a lot, she was completely unaware that he was also very friendly with someone else, her best friend. In fact he often wondered how it was he was planning to marry his fiancé when he had much more in common with someone else. Not that he knew it was his fiancee's best friend at the time.
(Even as his mind remembers that day as if it was today, he can't seem to get past the chill, it was as if he could feel the hands of death reaching for him.)
He laughed to himself as he accepted that he had everyone fooled, as he satisfied his own selfish desires using both of them. His fiancé would be out of town tonight, so he was taking the bar maid home, who would know or care? Besides didn't everyone want a little something on the side?
(Why had he laughed, he was the one who would daily see that face in the mirror, not his own, but the one he had told he would help, he had lied. He had known he would not).
Religious he was not, in fact most of his friends and family had been in and out of trouble as long as he could remember. But money tallks and as often as someone landed in court they were able to work things out. Never anything serious.
He did not know of anyone who really valued any vow they had ever made. He had often wondered why anyone even bothered to get married anyway, seeing as so many just got divorced later on. He did not really know anyone from his generation amongst his friends who had ever taken any commitment serious.
(Perhaps he thought quite suddenly if he had of been religious or had Christ as some claimed to have he could have peace, but just as suddenly as the thought crossed his mind he threw it out. There was no God, how could there be, look at the world. If there was a God why did he allow so much pain and heartache? He did not understand, having never had anyone to clearly explain to him the gospel of Christ neither in words or deeds. A book of fairly tales his father had once said when he had asked him about the Bible. He had never thought to pursue the issue any further, having found many other things to occupy his mind and his time).
But his parents and grandparents wanted him to get married, so he had finally picked out someone he felt would be someone they would all like, that he could also tolerate, someone he could easily manipulate, and someone who was as insecure about life as he himself was. Someone who came from a wealthy family, not someone he would love, just someone who would meet the criteria his parents expected. The fact that Michelle also came from a divorced home matter little especially as her mom had since remarried someone who had even more wealth than her first husband. Everyone was always concerned about money at least that was the way it was within the circles he grew up in. Although none of these who talked about money needed any, it was mostly about greed. He had learned that long ago. So he largely ignored anyone who said they were broke, the concept meant nothing to him, having never known what it was to have no money in the bank or less than five hundred in his pocket at any given time, not to mention as many credit cards as he cared to carry. Life had always been easy for him.
His thoughts turned back in time once again, he could hear himself thinking the same thoughts he had thought that fateful day. How it was possible to have the same thoughts over again he could not understand, yet here he was thinking again as he did that day so long ago...
What no one knew couldn't hurt. Could it? This was not the start of many poor choices he had made over the years; instead this was just one of many poor choices.
(And his thoughts wandered back to that day, of how he reasoned that it did not matter he had no intention of being faithful to his soon to be bride.)
Looking back he could see where his parents or grandparents or someone had often not held him responsible for his actions. Preferring instead to believe and accept anything he said as truth regardless of the circumstances. Always it was assumed it was the fault of someone else.
(Over and over again he would wish his parents had loved him enough to hold him accountable, but they were more concerned with appearances. Appearances that was just as fake as his profession of love for Michelle was.)
*Remembering back he saw himself again on that day so long ago...
As he paid for his purchases he walked back out to the car, the young man he had noticed having long since disappeared from sight, seemed he could walk very fast. Must be because he was just in a hurry.
He had decided not to drive as he was feeling a little woozy or maybe even slightly drunk. So he would have his friend drive. The ride would be more fun that way anyway, he could let his hands wander, and he laughed to himself at the thought. Amazing what could be done in plain sight no one none the wiser.
(Stupidity knew no bounds he thought as he remembered his lustful thoughts of that day)
He was looking forward to getting home. He was glad he had run into Elizabeth or Becky as everyone called her. He would skip the TV tonight; instead he would turn his focus to Becky.
Becky was a few years younger than him, still very much in her prime, some days he was starting to think he was getting old. He was after all almost 35; he would be 35 this year. Thirty-five just the sound of that sounded old.
(Looking back he saw just how foolish he had been what he would not give to turn back the hands of time, it had been more than 30 years now, and he not only looked but felt much older than his years,
he could not even think how old he was at the moment. It was hard to keep track sometimes.)
Oh, well, he wasn't going to be thinking of anyone's age tonight, instead he was very interested in alone time with Becky.
(How foolish he had been, that day, even as he remembered his thoughts of that day, he could see his lust and shame for what it was, he turned away as he tried to get the thoughts out of his head once again. But still he remembered...)
Getting into the car on the passenger side he reached over giving Becky a squeeze. Despite the previous hours of this long day, tonight would be great. He smiled to himself at the thought. Little did he know that before morning this day would be a day of sorrows, a day of horrors that would follow him all the days of his life, a day he would long live to wish he had never seen.
(Why could these memories not go away, they were driving him insane, he had no peace, no peace, the vivid memories haunting him so he rarely left his apartment, his parent long since in their graves, never knowing he had indeed been guilty as charged, believing him to somehow be innocent,
agreeing it was the parents fault that the young man had been killed. Never stopping to think who was in the car, even without knowing about Becky, it was evident that the parents had not driven the car that had led to the death of that young man, that day so long ago. Again he shuttered as he felt the icy hands of death reach towards him.)
As Becky started up the car, pulling out into the road, he noticed that there was not a cloud in the sky, it would be clear all night. The drought was still in effect. It appeared like it hardly ever rained any more.
(The memories would not stop, he could remember everything about that day, the weather the houses, everything, even Becky's face as she had looked at him in terror right after she hit the young man. He remembers he had laughed at her then assuring her that it was nothing, that everyone lived a while then they died, there was nothing more. He had even been so brazen as to say that this would be helpful for the boy's family as it would be one less mouth to feed. He had been foolish indeed, thinking only of himself, not really seeing this young man as a person someone loved. In fact he hardly knew what it meant to be loved himself as he had often been left to fend for himself as his parents chased after the almighty dollar. They had indeed found their way to wealth, but in the meanwhile had lost their health, and had in the end lost their lives never having time to enjoy the fruits of their labors. They had worked hard, provided him with everything he could want or ask for.
Had given him a life of no responsibility, believing that this was the way to show love, they had no comprehension of love themselves, so how could they show it to their only son. Their love was money. The love of money destroyed not only their health, but failed when it was compassion that was needed. The last couple of years of their life had been spent in an expensive nursing home staring blankly at white washed walls. Never even seeing the son they had wanted to give everything, and they had given him everything, everything but love and compassion towards others. They had regrettably taught their son to be a very selfish and self-centered greedy person who would use anyone or anything to get what he wanted or thought he needed, he cared for no one, not even them in their declining years. They had only themselves to thank, they had long since turned their back on the faith of their parents, they had lived for self and it showed. Before their last breath was drawn however, God would see fit to allow someone to come to the nursing home to preach. For several weeks they would attend before somehow the light of the gospel would reach deep into their hardened hearts and they would turn to Christ. They would repent and weep for the many lost years, for their son who had already followed them loosing many years to the world. Accepting Christ, both on the same day, they began in earnest to pray for their son, but it would be many years and long past their death before their prayers would be answered. They would die never having seen God answer the one prayer that now meant more to them than life itself. They would each write a letter to their son, that would one day reach their sons heart, but it was not today, today was a day of memories...)
As Becky slowly turned on to the road that would haunt him for many years, he told her to step on the gas, see how fast you can go, at first Becky was resistant, stating she did not wish to receive a ticket. As her insurance rates were already high enough, but as usual he won out and she did as he asked.
Just as the car was up to about 75 he noticed that young man he had seen in the store earlier seemed like he had walked pretty far in a short amount of time. Just then his cell phone rang. Reaching to pick it up he pulled the steering wheel towards the young man who was walking, and said to Becky, let's give him a good scare. This would be a fatal mistake.
(Why had he thought something like that would be so funny? How could he not of known someone would die?)
Before Becky could keep from hitting this young man, she felt a jar as the mirror was ripped from the car, then as she stepped on the gas, she braced herself as his body was flung up on the hood of the car, bouncing half way thru the windshield before at the last hitting the back bumper as he was flung into a ditch beside the road. The passenger door having barely a dent in it, not enough damage to of really causes someone's death...
Stopping the car, Becky backed up, just as Ralph was saying to someone on the phone "oh, no I just hit something," What an odd thing to say thought Becky as it wasn't Ralph who was driving it was her.
Then it dawned on her, he was talking to his fiancé he did not want to let on that anyone was with him. He was protecting her.
Ralph hung up the phone, saying "I'll call you back, in a minute".
Getting out of the car Ralph and Becky run over and look in horror at the young man in the ditch barely clinging to life. "Help, please help me" the young man cries.
We'll go get help, both Ralph and Becky lie, just don't try to move, we'll be back with help soon. The young man cannot move he is losing a lot of blood; he closes his eyes as he tries to conserve what little strength he has left. It had been a long day.
Becky and Ralph get back into the car, looking all around, seeing no one, they slam their car doors, and drive away as quickly as possible, not even stopping to think to remember their words to the young man. Trying to escape even as no one had yet began searching for the car.
Driving away, silence enveloped the car, as Ralph and Becky started out the broken and shattered windshield, hoping no one noticed the damage to the car, as they hurried home. Less than a half mile away from where they had left the young man to die, knowing full well if they had called for help their secret affair would be out.
It was better to keep quiet they reasoned to themselves, after all if the young man lived he would likely be crippled and in much pain all his life. So silence is what these two chose that day so long ago. Life was not all that important, wasn't the world already overcrowded? Even as Ralph had tried to make Becky accept what he was saying about life and death, and population controls, it just did not seem right to Becky. She remembered back to when she had visited a Vacation Bible School, how someone there had tried to tell her how much God loved her, and how much He cared. That had made no sense to her at the time, and even less now. As that thought crossed her mind she wondered how anyone could not care that someone else was dying all alone in a ditch. Shuddering she pushed the thought from her mind perhaps Ralph was right. Silence once again hung heavy in the air, the silence of death, someone died alone, as the death angel passed by on the way to retrieve the soul laying in the ditch all alone, Becky turned the car into the driveway of Ralphs apartment. ..The angel of death had been turned away, though because it was in Christ that Tommy trusted. It was Christ who stepped between tha angel of death and Tommy's soul. Allowing Tommy to walk safely through the shadow of death entering into peace and rest on heaven's shores.
Even years later both of them would often recall the events of that week, many times wondering why they had been so selfish. Replaying over and over again in their minds that fateful day, never resting well, because every night the young man's face appears behind their closed eye lids, and again they hear his voice say "please help me," these words have echoed so much over the years sanity long since having left both of them. Ralph having never married his fiancée, suddenly breaking off their engagement, leaving the town he had grown up in, only to return many times over the years. Always stopping along the road where the young man died. Staring down into the ditch where he could still see the young man, looking up at him, trusting him to keep his word, expecting that help would soon arrive. Help that never came, sometimes when he would look down into the ditch it would be as if someone was asking why, why did you not keep your word? Why did you not send someone to help me, why did you not help me, didn't you know I wasn't ready to die, I still had a lot of living to do. I was younger than you just a few years younger than Becky was.
(Insanity always standing close by waiting to envelope him, but he ran from insanity by throwing himself into work, he would work as many as 18 hours a day at times. Seven days a week. When he was working he was not thinking, not thinking of that night so long ago, not thinking of his parents who had gotten religion or "saved" a year or so before their deaths. He had not gone to see them very often at the nursing home preferring instead to work or just stay away, the nursing home reminded him of death, his death, and it scared him. Him a grown man scared of death. He had never really been concerned before, but since that day, death had a different meaning. What was it the newspapers had said? A monster, that is what they had said, but he was no monster, it was an accident, he had not meant to kill anyone, but he had. Well really it was Becky, but no one knew that no one knew she had even been in the car. Well they hadn't until Becky told Michelle, then they had all three sworn each other to secrecy, agreeing to take their secret to their graves. Becky though would at times come to the verge of telling all, something had happened to her mind that day, many years would pass before she would come to terms with the lies that had been told that day, both by her, for her, and to the young man who had lost his life due to the fact no one had been sent to help. No one had cared as the young man had laid there waiting for someone to come back, to help. Waiting for help that never came, many times the words "help that never came" would echo through Becky's mind. Becky would turn to education and work to fight the demons in her own life due to this incident. Never had she cared for her education, so it had been a struggle, as she went back to school. First for her high school diploma, then later she would work her way through to receive her nursing degree. Trying in vain to release the burden of her heart, knowing she left someone to die so long ago, she works harder than any other nurse on staff with every critical patient that comes through the emergency room doors. As she fights to save someone's life she tries to push the image out of her mind of the one who she left to die so long ago. In vain she works to save another accident victim. As the patient dies, before the doctor can even get in the room, her heart breaks for that family. It is her job to not only work with the doctors to try to save the lives of those who come into the emergency room in critical condition, but also to provide counsel to the families of those who die. It has become her job, because she has over the years been able to show more compassion and caring than any other nurse or doctor or staff member, she often stays with the family long after most would of left. She stays and listens, she learned to pray a few years after the "incident" that changed her life forever, but she it would take many more years before she learned to release the burden of her heart to the only one who could provide healing, because she often felt what she had done that day had been beyond what could be forgiven, someone had died. She had lied to that person promising to come back, she would never be able to change the fact someone had died, she had also allowed someone else to take the blame, granted that person had told her to, and had even encouraged her to do so at first. For a while she had even felt justified, after all he had only been using her and many others. She often wondered if he had changed, she wondered if he too struggled to maintain his sanity. Turning back to her work at the hospital she tried once again to forget, why was it so many memories were coming back today...just then another ambulance pulled up...)
Remembering back Ralph again remembers how he took the blame for Becky, how he was called a monster, how Becky had allowed him to take the blame, how she had in the end been the one who had used him. She had used him and his reputation to escape any responsibility for her actions. But he had in the end blackmailed her into doing what he wanted until he tired of her.
(All of his life seemed to be flashing before his eyes, why he could not tell, he was driving was he not? Why so many memories, why had he taken this road, he hated this road it was haunted this he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, and he knew who walked this road, and why this road was to be feared, even as he thought on these things struggling to breathe, he felt the icy cold claws of death once again reaching for him, why was he having such a hard time breathing, why did it seem like he was reliving all his days??? Questions flooded his mind even as the chills of death lingered near; he wondered suddenly if he were dying? No, he could not be dying he was not sick, tired yes but sick no, he was not sick enough to die. Again his mind drifted to his past...)
Now granted he had not spent any significant amount of time in jail or prison, in fact he had walked as a free man for many years after this horrible incident. He had patted himself on the back often during that time, because he had been able to delay the trial so long. He had even laughed or mocked when Becky had made statements to others of his actions that night; he had mocked the family, when he saw them on the news the day they found their son. Saying to anyone who would listen that it was really the parents fault, anyone's other than his.
(What was it he had once heard someone say, one of those religious fanatics, what was it they had said about mocking God , well how could he mock God he reasoned, he did not even believe in God.
But why was he suddenly so concerned about death and dying, why did he feel like he was near death? He was on his way home, he was not dying he was on his way home. He had to be at work in a few hours. He had a lot still to get done; he had no intention of ever retiring or ever getting married.
He remembered again, how he had mocked and laughed at Becky, how he had carefully explained to Becky that there was no God. Becky had never seemed to of believed him, that troubled him at times, but he pushed the thought away. He still remembered the breakups he had, after the trial or was it before; he was having problems remembering now exactly how it was. He had broken up with Michelle first, calling off the engagement even leaving town for a while, much to his parent's dismay.
For a time he shacked up with Becky forgetting all about appearances, this probably contributed to his parents decline in health. He left Becky not long after the baby was born, it was a little boy. He always sent money back, but he could not bear to see the child. So he never got to know his son. Whenever he thought of his son he would remember that fateful night, the night he had told Becky that it did not matter. Becky had cried, she had tried to convince him otherwise, but he had won out as usual, but Becky had never been the same. Even though he had accepted full blame or responsibility for the first time in his life, and this for something he was not fully responsible for. Even spending a couple of months in the county jail, and a little time on probation, it had not really affected him or his way of life at the time. He looked at it more as an inconvenience than anything. He had even at one point wanted to blame the parents but they sort of scared him. Why he could not say or maybe he could but some would think him crazy...)
(Again his thoughts drifted away...what was wrong with his mind today? Why was he thinking of Becky even thinking he heard her voice, he had not spoken to her in more than twenty years. He still sent checks to the last address he had for her, but he never called her, she did not call him, he never even checked that she cashed the checks, why should he did not need anything, he had all he needed or so he thought...)
It was again that day so long ago in his mind he was yet again trying to place the blame on the parents on anyone other than himself, he had wanted to change his mind about accepting the responsibility for that day...
But he was the one who was charged not the parents. And as much as he wanted to hate them for disrupting his life for interfering with how he wanted to live his life he could not. Because the parents were not attacking him or his friends instead they were asking people to pray for him. "Pray for him".
Pray for his family, and his friends. He could not understand that at all, it was confusing and nerve racking. He had never heard of such a thing, as to pray for someone who had hurt you in such a way.
He could not fathom how anyone could care enough about his soul to pray for him, when he had sent their loved one on into eternity. Especially in the way he had. If they had been spiteful or even said they hated him he could of delt with that, his mind could handle that, but this, this prayer for him, it was too much. They must be crazy. Idiots, fanatics...something. Maybe from another planet. He stopped there he could not allow his mind to wander in such a way, he had to maintain his sanity.
After all sanity was important, and he was sane, he knew he was, he told himself so daily.
(Now he had heard others say they were praying for him, but this time when he heard that the parents and family of this young man he had sent into eternity by his foolishness was praying for him, it made him uneasy. He had never felt so uneasy, he could not place his finger on it, but it was unnerving, especially the young man's mother, she seemed to never even raise her voice, and even when he saw her at court she seemed to look right through him seemed to see his heart, somehow without one word she made him feel dirty inside. How he did not know, and then she said she forgave him even as Christ forgave her, of her sins. What did she mean by that, she must be crazy, likely dangerous to.
Many thoughts raced through his mind as he thought of how the young man's mother told everyone to pray and to pray specifically for his salvation. "What did he need saving from? She was silly, why did she think he needed saving, he had more than she could ever of dreamed of having..." Still her words troubled him, and often haunted him, nearly as much as that haunted road. Why had he taken that road again today? Why? And why was it taking so long to get off this road today, why were so memories echoing through his mind? He even thought he heard Becky's voice again but how, he had not seen or heard from her in years. Other than sending the checks each month he had no contact with her or his son in the last twenty years at least. Maybe longer, he could not remember, why was his memory fading in and out, and why was he remembering the things he wished so hard to forget...)
...He knew the family did not know that he and Becky were the last ones to hear this young man speak, the last ones to see him alive on that fateful day. No one knew that they had almost not even told anyone anything. Having at first thought to have the car repaired by someone who would never ask any questions so long as they paid for all repairs upfront. At an increased rate of course.
(Yet, both Ralph and Becky would hear this young man's voice many times over the years echoing in their memory, always crystal clear as the words echoed down through the corridors of time... Often waking them at night...no one knew their nightmares because they had finally made a promise that they kept, it was the promise of silence)
...As they had went to bed later that day after having left the young man laying in the ditch, he had again professed his love to Becky. Who asked again, why it was he could not marry her. He tried once again to explain, that it was for the appearance sake. You see Becky did not come from a privileged background; she was even a high school dropout. It just would not look good for him to marry down, which is what he would be doing if he married her instead of Michelle. Michelle came from a well to do family, she had herself graduated at the top of her class, and how Becky and Michelle had become best friends was a mystery to most.
Also largely irrelevant to this story...perhaps another time...another story yet to be told...(Becky did not know at first that the Michelle that Ralph was planning to marry was the same one who was her very best friend in all the world, after she learned the truth she had hid this from everyone, even denying to herself that it was she who was cheating with her best friends fiancee. )
But even so, friends they were, but some things they did not share, such as the knowledge that they both loved the same man. Only Becky knew the truth, Michelle was blindly ignorant. Thinking Ralph was faithful and true. Believing everything he told her. Never dreaming it was all a lie. Sometimes Becky wondered how Michelle could be so trusting especially since Michelle had just as much reason to not trust as she had. At least she thought so knowing as much as she did about Michelle's personal life. Well maybe that was why she liked Michelle so much. Michelle had seemed to be able to let go and move on with her life even when things were very bad. Becky wondered if she would have been able to give up a baby never telling anyone as Michelle had done. Becky had helped her then, Michelle had seemed thankful. Ever trusting Michelle could not see that Ralph did not love her.
This time though there was no fixing or hiding the damage done, and someone would have to take the blame, Becky was so upset about the things that Ralph had said that she could not even think straight. Why did he think it was okay? Becky could not understand, she so wanted to believe that he was right but she knew in her heart it was wrong, dead wrong.
A vow of silence, this is what Becky would agree to now. She knew it was wrong but how could she escape from this, she knew if she came forward she would go to jail for many years, she did not believe she would survive prison. Even with her reputation she had never been in any serious trouble in her life, instead it was more involvement with men. She had a reputation and not one that she was proud of. She did not want to add this "incident" to her reputation.
But Becky was angry, she was so angry she could of easily of killed Ralph with her bare hands. How could Ralph say he loved her, when he did not care enough about her to let anyone else know it was she whom he loved, not Michelle. Michelle was to be the trophy wife, or show wife. Michelle would of never of known of the affair. Even as Becky was allowing these unrelated thoughts to drift through her mind she knew she loved Ralph whether or not he loved her. She loved him so much she would do anything for him. Even lie to her best friend, the only real friend she had ever had. She wanted his love and attention so much she was willing to settle for second best believing no one could ever really love someone else.
Becky had been thankful when Ralph had said he would take the blame. She even believed he would of willingly of done that. But somehow she knew that when he sobered up it would be the same as always he would not of really accepted the responsibility, he had never in his life accepted the responsibility for anything that would cause a disruption to his lifestyle. Even as he had assured her he would take the blame for her, protecting her, she knew he was only saying the words so he could get her to come to bed. He was indeed a monster, a monster who had killed and who would kill again.
She knew he would, but she hoped he would not. But in her heart she knew he already had, he had killed her love for him. Love was life was it not? Silly maybe but she knew in her heart that Ralph had killed something deep inside her, he had taken away more than just her innocence. He had taken her love for granted. She loved him with her whole heart her whole being. But now she was afraid of him, afraid of what he would do, she felt trapped.
By the time Ralph fell asleep, Becky was wide awake, she had not drank any of the beer Ralph had handed her when they got home. Instead she had kept moving the bottle around placing it just within his reach, and he drank it as he was pacing trying to think what he would do, what he would say if anyone found out. She would have to think of something, who could she call? Just then she thought of her once best friend....
By now Ralph was sound asleep, so Becky got up, and she called Michelle, telling her what had happened. All of it, even the part about how she had been having an ongoing affair with Ralph for the last couple of years. At first Michelle did not want to believe it, but later she would. Silence was all Becky heard on the other line. Then Michelle said she would be right over, that they would think of something. Perhaps thought Becky Michelle is not as naive as she appeared to others. This would be true as Becky would soon found out. Michelle had been acting for a long time. She had wanted to believe that Ralph was different that she could trust him, even love him, but now she knew the rumors she had largely ignored were true.
Michelle had never once in her life been hurt so badly by someone she loved. She had believed Ralph, Becky was her very best friend in the entire world. The only one who she had been able to confide in when she had ran away from home when she was 15. She had helped her tell her parents about how she had been raped, by the handyman her parents had hired. She had helped her to tell her parents about the baby she had given away. The baby her parents never even knew about. She had been there when her parents said it did not matter, when they had said they did not believe her. Even as Michelle remembered the baby, and the handyman, and the people she gave the baby too, (hardly being a legal adoption, but none the less the baby had been given a home by parents who wanted him, could provide for him, but did not meet the criteria or acceptance of any of the adoption agencies they had applied to. Discouraged they had been thrilled when Becky had told them about Michelle. They had even helped to keep the secret about the baby, which was easier than some might think because of the fact Michelle's parents were busy, and away some times for months at a time leaving Michelle in the care of a nanny or allowing her to stay with friends. Never checking up to see that who they left Michelle with was safe, just believing everyone could be trusted, and not wanting to hear otherwise, not even from their own daughter who had been hurt many times over by those who had been left in charge of her welfare as they made their way around the globe due to business and pleasure trips.
Michelle had shut down for a time after that, but Becky had helped her, she had helped her to find her way again. And Michelle had ever been thankful, Becky would always be her friend no matter what, time nor distance, family or enemy would cause Michelle to believe that Becky was not her friend.
Michelle had decided that it did not matter what Ralph had to say, it was Becky who she would believe and Becky who she would help, even if it meant she lost Ralph to Becky someday. Becky had believed her when no one else, not even her parents would. Becky had helped her when she could see no way out. Becky for all her faults had shown compassion and caring more than anyone that Michelle had ever known. So stand beside her as her friend she would. Even if it meant agreeing with Becky to help place the entire blame for the "incident" entirely on Ralph.
(Michelle thought to herself again about her parents, about Becky, and about who she had trusted to keep her secrets especially about the baby, about the handy man, and others. Becky had never condemned her or acted like it was her fault she had even acted like it was her parents fault for not believing her, when she first told them about the handy man and how he used to watch her, and later how he would hug her when no one was looking, making her skin crawl. She hated to think of it now...)
Her parents were always so busy, always leaving her with someone, so it was easy for her to hide her pregnancy, the only one who had ever known about this was Becky, not even Ralph knew of about this.
She had thought that she would never again be hurt so much by anyone. It had hurt when she had to give up the baby, it had hurt that no one even knew about the baby, except Becky. Her parents choosing not to know, because when she tried with Becky by her side to tell them they told her she was lying, even threatened to have her committed. At she had at least Becky to turn to. Becky had helped her threw so many things. She had helped her to overcome her parent's divorce, her grandparents accidental drowning. Becky had always been there. It was Becky who she had first told about Ralph. It was Becky who she had asked to be her maid of Honor at her upcoming wedding. A wedding that would never be now, Michelle had never loved anyone as much as she did Ralph, and now as Becky's words sunk into her heart, she had never felt such hurt, such anger.
It was worse even than when the handyman had stolen her innocence, worse than when she had placed the baby up for adoption. But now it was her turn, she would be there for Becky even if it hurt, hurt more than any hurt she had known since the baby.
The baby she had given up, that her parents had not believed existed. Becky had believed her; Becky had helped her shown compassion, now she would do the same. She would also have revenge somehow, on Ralph yet another man who had carelessly hurt her. This time she had allowed herself to trust too much, she would never trust anyone again she decided, how could she? Trust she decided with finality was something that was something for those who had no good sense. She had came to her senses she decided she would never trust anyone again, not even Becky, she would help Becky through this time. But after everything was over she would go away, perhaps to Italy, or maybe England, just anywhere, she had the means she could go, it would not be any hardship. She would leave not telling anyone where she was going.
She would go away to heal but not until she helped her one time best friend through this mess she had gotten into. And she would make sure that in some way Ralph paid for hurting Becky, she knew how Becky had lived, how she had grown up, knew that Becky wanted someone to love badly. She even knew that Becky had never really been loved. No one had ever even pretended to care, at least not in any meaningful way.
(The trail of pain left by the angel of death was fast coming to light, the young man's body had been found. Who could know that this young man's family had tried to be help Becky, tried to invite her mom and Becky to church. Becky had came a time or two, to a vacation Bible school, a Sunday school class or two, but had never came very much, then she had moved with her mom to another section of town, living for a time in a very rich neighborhood, as her mom has a boyfriend who invited her to shack up with him there for a time. Becky had vaguely remembered this young man's face as she had stood looking down at him the day before, but for whatever reason, maybe it was because of the blood or maybe it was because it had been several years, she did not at first recognize him, it would be several days before it dawned on her who it was. The frosty trail left by the angel of death was fading as the morning sun dried the dew on the ground. Becky and Michelle had been up all night, as Ralph lay sleeping...)
(The angel of death leaving a cold trail as the sunlight fast hid his steps, where he had stood waiting to snatch another soul into the debts of hell, where he had lost yet again, as Christ had stood between him and the soul he had sought that night, again he would visit this path seeking the soul of the one who had left, would be be able to steal that soul? If no one prayed he knew he could. Perhaps Tommy's death would silence the prayers of those who seemed to really care, turning the angel of death set out to find another soul...)
Michelle did not know she could hurt so badly, she wanted to hurt someone else. She wanted revenge.
As usual Becky had a suggestion that seemed to be reasonable. They would call the police and turn Ralph in while he slept. He would sleep for a good long while, they both knew this. Earlier Michelle had hung up the phone and drove over to Ralph's apartment. It was late by the time she had arrived.
... Michelle had felt a cold chill run down her spine as she passed where Becky told her the body of the young man was. They both knew he was not alive by now, it had been too long, and he had been bleeding heavily even as Becky and Ralph had driven away. The odds were he was dead, and had probably died within a fairly short time of their departure. (She thought she saw the angel of death just ahead, she gasped for breath, no she thought again, no one can see death, no one see's the death angel until they have breathed their last breath, even as she thought on these things she thought she heard someone cry, "please help me.." the cry was faint, it was her imagination she told herself. ..
She almost thought she saw someone walking as she passed but no it was just fog or maybe the headlights playing tricks on her eyes. She would not be the first to think she saw someone walking along this road during the night, nor would she be the only one who would almost hear a faint cry for help. Impossible she would think as she stepped on the gas to get away from the place where she knew a body lay yet undiscovered. Again her mind was playing tricks on her, she had to hurry and get off this road. Why had she taken this road? Why, she thought to herself, why because silly this is the only road that goes near Ralphs apartment, there was no choice unless she wanted to drive cross country, or something like that. This would not be practical or legal, although leaving someone to die was not legal either...even as she thought on these things she knew she had to get her mind together before she saw Becky, she stiffened as she remembered why it was she was out at this hour.
As Michelle arrived at Ralph's apartment, Becky turned the light on so as to help her find her way to the door. Michelle's face was streaked with tears as she came into the porch light. Becky almost felt sorry for her. Michelle had forgotten she had allowed herself to cry as she drove over. Michelle went to the bathroom to wash her face, brush her hair and get her thoughts together. She had to regain her composure quickly or she would lose her nerve...
Becky had always had a soft spot for Michelle, but over the last year or so, she had grown somewhat distant towards her. Because as she had grown older she had come to see the huge differences between their lives, even though Michelle's parents had eventually divorced, Michelle's father leaving for a much younger woman, Michelle's lifestyle had not changed, she still lived in the same place she had, still wore the same expensive things, her father still paid all the bills, the only thing that seemed to of changed was Michelle's father never had been home much so things did not seem to different than before the divorce. Becky never could really see any reason for Michelle to be unset although she never said anything aloud to Michelle. Michelle however had never changed or seemed distant when Becky would find time to talk to her. Michelle always seemed happy to hear from her, and never looked down on her even though Becky did not have the same status in life, Becky was as poor as they come material wise, but she made up for what she lacked materially with her personality. She never lacked for someone to talk to; sometimes Michelle really believed that Becky would talk to the wall, answering for the wall if the wall did not respond in a timely matter. Michelle almost laughed at the thought of a talking wall and Becky talking to the wall, expecting an answer. Becky looked at Michelle wondering aloud why Michelle had almost laughed just then. Trust Becky to never miss a thing, thought Michelle dryly remembering again why she was here. Walking over to the bedroom door Michelle softly and quickly pulled the door shut after first checking to make sure Ralph was indeed asleep...
Becky had never even met her father, and barely knew her mom. As her mom often left her in the care of one sitter or the other, as she had gotten older her mom even left her alone a lot. Not that she minded though. It was much better than when her mom left her with one of her many boyfriends who seemed to think that she was a "toy" for their own pleasure.
She had long since stopped trying to tell her mom anything. Her mom was so strung out that she barely knew she was in the world herself. And had no time for any of the complaints Becky had about anything. Her patience was thin, she had no desire to listen to Becky about anything, she was not even aware that Becky had quit school at the ripe old age of 14, no else had noticed either.
If they had they did not seem to care. Not many had ever cared for Becky, she had been used and abused all her life, she has skipped school as often as possible, hating school, because of the teasing, and ridicule of the other students, even some of the teachers. Everyone knew about her mom, it was a small town after all. Becky had learned to live life on the run, she had learned from experience to not trust anyone. How she had forgotten this lesson and trusted Ralph she would never understand. She decided she must have lost her mind or something the day she had started trusting Ralph, she would not make that mistake again. She decided.
Once her mom had even came to the school stone drunk, for a PTA meeting. That was the last PTA meeting that she ever told her mom about; she even went so far as to tell her mom that the school had decided to stop having PTA meetings. To save cost, because no one really liked to attend anyway. Why had she thought of that last PTA meeting, strange the thoughts that wandered across her mind on the late night shift at times...
It was interesting to say the least how Becky and Michelle had met, becoming fast friends for a long while until life and time caused them both to drift apart. Time and money have a way of doing that.
Although Michelle had money; Becky barely had a place to sleep any given day. But still they had become friends of a sort. Becky having found Michelle wandering the streets one night all alone mad because of her parent's divorce that had just become final, angry because of what the handyman had done repeatedly over the years, scared she was pregnant. Angry also because her mom did not seem to care that her father was leaving for a younger woman, in fact it seemed like her mom had decided it would be a good idea to take a long vacation abroad, leaving her in the care of the household staff including the handyman. (The handyman who would indeed, be the father of her first child, the one she would give away, unknown to anyone other than Becky). How Becky had convinced Michelle to return home that night it is a wonder, because Becky had herself never had anyone who had even remotely seemed to care. Becky had however, convinced Michelle returning home would be for the best. And certainly that was true to an extent, as life on the streets is very hard. Many young lives are lost each day to the streets of this world. Some are lost before they have ever ventured far from their own front door. Such is life, friends are made and lost.
The only thing that anyone can be sure of in this life is nothing is forever, of this Becky was positive. She had never known any security or love at all. Becky seemed to know even at that young age that Michelle would never make it on the streets; even with her own hardships Michelle had lived a fairly easy life up until now. She had not known how cruel this world can be. She would soon learn just how uncaring this world can be though, and it would because of Becky that she would find both unbearable pain and heartache, and at the last she would find a peace that passes all understanding. But that peace would be a long time in coming many years in fact. As Becky had not yet found that peace...
Becky had never felt anyone really loved or cared for her up until she met Ralph. She had actually met Ralph long before Michelle had. He had in fact once lived right next door to her. This was during one of the short periods of time when her life was relatively stable. Stability never lasted long though. But she had made fast friends with Ralph often going to see him even long afterwards. (Her mom had moved in with someone during the time she lived next door to Ralph, her mom had claimed that this time would be different, but it was more of the same, eventually her mom had broken up with this man, it had been a very horrible breakup, the police had came, neighbors had stared. It had been embarrassingly awful).
She was no longer welcome at Ralph's home after that, his parents even told her not to call.
For a while she had listened and not tried to contact him. But in time she had ran into him, and they had picked right up where they left off, this time though she was not a young girl.
So their relationship went much further. She was now in her early twenties, and very much in love she thought with Ralph, who claimed to love her too. She could not really understand his parents thinking, she would later come to learn it was because they were afraid she would one day be like her mom, taking whatever she could not caring who she hurt in the process. His parents forgot that it was not her that had lived a life bouncing form man to man but her mom. Her mom who could not even tell her who her own father was because of the fact she did not even know herself. It was sad in a way if she allowed herself to think about it. This was not something she did however. She had been born with a powerfully strong will this was probably how she was able to adapt over the years to the constant upheaval her mom created in her life.
She was also determined, and had decided a long time ago she would not follow in her mother's footsteps, yet she had already started down that path with Ralph. Not wanting to believe the rumors she heard that he was seeing someone else she ignored it until she saw him out with Michelle.
But when she confronted him about it, he had told her, he had to please his parents otherwise he would lose his inheritance. As he talked and talked he had comforted her with his lies. She had believed him when he said, he really did not love Michelle, and she had believed him, when he had said so many other things. Even somehow accepting what he said about why it was he had to marry Michelle, and how he would one day leave Michelle for her. Not realizing he had no intention of ever really being with her. He had only himself in mind. He wanted her only for her body, because she had no money, academically she was a failure. The only thing going for her was her looks, and her skills in the bedroom of which he was very fond. She was her mother all over again; she was second best to the one she loved. She wondered silently if this is how her mother came to be as she was. Who was it her mother had loved so much to destroy her life, did that man even know how he had destroyed her mom? She doubted it, in fact she knew it was silly even to think that her mom had once loved someone as much as she had thought she loved Ralph.
It is of no particular relevance as to how Michelle and Becky came to be friends, or how they both came to love the same person. What is of some importance is what happened later. Later being what happened that fateful day when a road became haunted by the heartless manner in which a young man was left to die all alone in a ditch. Left there with the assurance made by those who had lied, who were only interested in protecting an image they thought was worth more than a life. A false image at that, not having came to know that it was only those within the mirror who were fooled into believing that they were of some social importance.
Perhaps Becky in her ignorance did not really think herself someone of social standing, but she had always felt the need to protect Ralph, why is anyone's guess. She also in some weird way had not really wanted to hurt Michelle, although that is what she would do ultimately. She would betray the only friend she had ever really had, besides Ralph that was. Ralph had never really been her friend but she had always thought he was, because he had always known just what to say and do to comfort her. It had not dawned on her he was just as the others who had abused her many times over the years. Maybe it was because he seemed to care in some way. Maybe he was just a good liar. No one knew that Becky had never fully stopped seeing Ralph when her mom had left that neighborhood, uprooting her from one of the best kept homes she had ever lived in. Granted she had not seen him for a while, but once they had met again she saw him often, just not with his friends or at his parent's home. This was in fact the first time she had been to his apartment, every other time they had met at a motel or even at her place but only in the middle of the night, with him leaving before prying eyes were awake enough to see who it was that left while the shadows played tricks on the eyes, making one wonder if someone had really been there or not. Ralph had never cared to protect Becky, he had cared very much for his own reputation, but as far as Becky he just thought of her as his own special treat, his secret treat. Always ready whenever he happened by.
Love it was not, not for Ralph it wasn't. As he did not even know the meaning of the word unless you meant did he love himself. Because he was very much in love with himself, his parents having made him believe he could do no wrong. He lived a very sheltered and privileged life. What he wanted from life he took, he had never earned anything other than a reputation that was less than what he thought. He thought himself to be something, but others who knew him well, knew better. But silence was golden especially as everyone knew he had influence within the community even if it was only because of his parents. Money was power, and money is something Ralph had. He had never once gone without. He had more money than he knew what to do with. It was rumored that his parents were millionaires several times over. Ralph never thought to inquire about the family finances he had always just assumed that everything was fine. He was as ignorant of the finances of his family as Becky was concerning love.
Neither was this incident an accident in Becky's mind. It was all Ralphs fault she did not care who was behind the wheel; he had after all pulled the steering wheel. He had been groping her all over making driving difficult to say the least. How could this incident be just an accident as Ralph had told her over and over before he finally drifted off to sleep later that same night.
Whatever it was it did not matter. When Becky and Ralph had left, Becky was scared because she knew no one would believe she had not been drinking, that it had been Ralph who had grabbed the steering wheel out of her hand. It had really been his fault that the young man was dead. She could not even bear to say the young man's name. She shuddered even now as she thought of the first time she had heard the young man's name. She remembered him, his life had been hard she remembered, but not for the same reasons as hers. His was more because of circumstances. His parents had even been nice to her, had not looked down on her when others had. She remembered they had often invited her to church, as a young child she had even gone a time or two. But she never really liked going to church, because when she would get home, her mother would often be drunk or high on some drug or other.
She could often be belligerent if she was still awake when Michelle returned home. Sometimes she would even be passed out; those times were the worst, because often that meant she would have had a "guest" over someone who was very much looking for what "he" considered a good time. This would mean a long and painful night for Michelle. And her mom would tell her it was a lie if she tried to tell her, often slapping her right through the face. Sometimes even knocking her down, other times going into a rage beating her, while her mom's "guest" would sit and watch laughing as her mom worked out her rage on her, she learned quickly to keep things to herself. Because telling was something that she could not do, no one would believe her. No one cared.
All of these things may have played a part in what happened after Michelle walked into the door, Becky told her she was sorry, she told her how she had met Ralph several years before, how she had already been seeing Ralph before Michelle had even met Ralph. As Michelle stood listening to her words, she was numb; it was like her parent's divorce all over again. Her dad had left her mom for another woman, someone her mom had trusted as a friend. Now she was hearing her very best friend in all the world say she had never meant to hurt her. She was hearing her best friend say it was not really her fault. It was Ralph's fault, he had led her on. He had told her that one day he would marry her. Take her away from her horrible life. Far away from all the pain she had lived with all her life. Even as Becky told Michelle all these things, Michelle knew in her heart that Becky was telling the truth. Becky had never lied to her, not even once.
As Michelle listened she became more and more angry, but not at Becky as some would assume, but at Ralph. She listened as Becky told her what had happened in the car, how Ralph had been grabbing at her, how he had grabbed the steering wheel in his drunkenness thinking it would be funny to scare someone walking only it had went too far. She listened as Becky told her all that Ralph had said. He would take the blame so no one would know she had been with him that night. This is what Becky told to Michelle. His parents after all had an attorney on retainer. Having often needed to use a high powered attorney for legal matters of their own, having often used questionable tactics in their own business matters.
Ralph had told Becky that he would take the blame so neither of them would spend any time in prison. He knew his parents would pay to keep his name out of the papers, also to keep him out of prison. Spoilt he was but his parents thought showing love was to give their son everything, to never hold him responsible for his actions. After all he could do wrong in the eyes of his parents.
His teachers would say otherwise, as would the law enforcement officers who often had pulled him over several times for speeding, drunk driving, unlawful use of a vehicle and many other things. He had had many brushes with the law nothing quite so bad as this would be at least not that anyone had known about. But surely to goodness his parents would be able to get him out of this as they had gotten him out of many things before. So he had told Becky not to worry about a thing, if someone saw the car before it was repaired he would claim he thought he had hit an animal of some kind, that it had happened at night. He would claim that he had not seen anyone walking, it had been nighttime.
So he had worked it out. Then after his time with Becky he had passed out. Becky though for some reason had begun to think about what had happened. About how he could tell that young man that he was going for help, when he was not. How he could come home and make the careless remarks he had.
Suddenly Becky had thought what if it had been her, what if it had been her in the ditch? He would have just left her there. That is when she knew for the first time that he had been using her, just for sex the same as her mom's old boy friends. Her blood had turned cold at the thought of how much she had cared for him, someone who had no regard whatsoever for human life. He had never loved her; he had just wanted what he wanted. And she had been dumb enough to give it to him. The only one she had been with that she had wanted to be with, and he had betrayed her in so many ways.
Michelle had listened as Becky spoke to her about everything, Becky left nothing out, she was hurt so badly by Ralph that not only did she want revenge on him, but she wanted someone else to hurt just as badly as she did. Ralph had been the first one she had ever loved. And it had all been a lie.
Michelle sat numb at first to all the things Becky told her. Then as if on cue, they remembered the times in the past when they had been friends to one another, before Ralph, before they had grown up, and grown apart. Michelle reached for Becky and told her she forgave her, as Becky did the same.
Although there was nothing for Becky to forgive Michelle for, Michelle had never tried to hurt Becky in any way, she had in fact always been a friend. As they wept for the innocence they had lost as they had both trusted someone who had used them, for his own pleasure. They decided they would have their revenge.
Michelle knew something else too, she knew that Ralph would never willingly take the blame; he would have to be forced to do so. So she told Becky what they would do, first anything that would put Becky in the car needed to be found and gotten rid of. Then they needed to call the police and say they had both just came over to Ralph's apartment that morning, that they had found the door open, and Ralph passed out on the bed. Because he was drunk, then they would say they saw the morning news, and saw that the police was looking for a car with the mirror torn off. Then they would tell the police about the damage to the car. And this is what they did that afternoon.
Becky was scared for the first time in her life to talk to anyone though, and could not make the call.
This time it would be Michelle who would have to make the call, looking again at the television screen she picked up the phone, and dialed the number on the screen before she lost her nerve. She knew she was doing the right thing but still this was hard.
Just as she hung up the phone Ralph appeared in the doorway, having awoken from his drunken slumber. Only half hearing what had been said. He was still not fully awake. As he woke up a little more he saw that Michelle and Becky were both in his apartment, how had that happened? He did not remember? How had Michelle found out he was home, he thought Michelle was going out of town.
(What he did not know is Michelle had changed her mind suddenly, and had planned to come by that morning anyway, he did not know that Becky knew Michelle, that they were old friends. He did not even know that Michelle had been there most of the night, coming over when Becky called.)
As Ralph was starting to register what he was seeing he knew that someone was in trouble, and this time he may not be able to get out of it. For some reason though this did not really bother him, it was almost as if he had decided to accept it. But then he turned to Becky and told her that he would see to it that she did as he wanted, and he had decided she would be moving in, he had also decided that he was breaking up with Michelle. Becky protested that no, she did not want to move in that she wanted nothing more to do with him, but Ralph seemed to not even be hearing anything, thinking again of his own selfish desires. He then turned to Michelle who by this time was starting to see what was happening. She shook her head no... but there was nothing she could do. This time he held the cards, true they had turned him in and he would soon be facing a trial, but he still had the upper hand his family had more money and more power than any other family within the state.
Continuing he told Michelle that they could not break up right away, that they would have to call off their engagement over a period of time. Then he would have to appear to be interested in someone else, that being Becky. He still wanted to keep up appearances, he wanted it to seem like Michelle had gotten cold feet, about the wedding. And that while they were spending time away from each other, he fell into love with someone else.
He still had no desire to marry Becky though as this would cause him a great deal of ridicule he had decided. Becky listened in horror. As he went on, stating that he would agree to accept the responsibility for this "incident' but he would do so on his terms. Meaning if they disagreed he would turn up some things for them that would cause Michelle's family a great deal of grief, even the possibility of a very long prison stay for Michelle's elderly grandfather, whom Ralph knew that Michelle loved dearly.
Then turning to Becky he had told her he knew about how she had "arranged" for several young girls to give their babies to couples who could not adopt, at this Michelle's jaw dropped, no she thought, how could she. But then Ralph continued not seeing the telltale expression on Michelle's face. Ralph went on to tell Becky he knew how she had made all these arrangements for these adoptions all of these having been illegal. How he knew or found out about this he did not say, but he gave enough detail that Becky knew he could cause her to spend many years in prison, not only that, he would cause many families who had "adopted" these babies to face criminal charges possibly even long prison sentences themselves. Becky had been careful, she had always made sure the homes she recommended were safe, she had even followed up and checked on the "her babies" over the years.
She had often thought to herself that it was easy doing this type of thing; she was placing babies with people who really wanted them, and keeping these babies from being aborted or raised in homes where someone did not want them. She was doing a good thing, or so she thought. How had Ralph found out, she had been very careful over the years, someone must have told but whom? Then she knew it had to be someone who had placed a baby with her, someone who knew Ralph too. Ralph grinned as she figured it out; he had produced a baby with someone that was under age, one of the girls she had helped. But which one, she did not know. He was surely every bit the monster that the news report was calling him.
As time would have it, this case finally came to trial, as expected Ralph did not go to prison, just spent some time in the local county jail, then had community service probation. All told maybe six months of his life was compromised, he was soon able to put this behind him. He would spend a few years with Becky having blackmailed her into staying with him, but by this time Becky would know she did not love him. She would only be staying to protect those she had helped so many years ago.
All told it was maybe five years she stayed with Ralph before he agreed to let her go without using any of the things he knew about her against her. But by the time he agreed to this Becky was pregnant. Fearing he would not agree to her leaving if he knew of the pregnancy she kept silent. But he would soon find out.
At first he had been angry, he would of preferred that she have an abortion. This she already knew, but she also knew this was not something she could ever do. Just the thought of killing her baby reminded her of Tommy, there she had said it. She had tried to not even think his name over the years, because she still remembered his words to her.., "please help me... Help me please" But she had done nothing she had remained silent as he had died. It would be many years before she could have any peace. Because those words and that day echoed in her mind, haunting her every waking moment haunting her dreams aging her well before her time.
Ironically she named her little boy Tommy; she named him before she remembered that was the name of the young man who she had lied to. Tommy was a special little boy though, even if he would never know his daddy. She had no intention of ever allowing him to meet Ralph. She wanted no part of him and did not want her son to either. But she did accept the money because otherwise she could not meet her financial needs, which were many. Seemed like everything was going up, and her health that she once took for granted was failing. Many things she had taken for granted was failing her now. She had long since lost contact with Michelle; she wondered sometimes how she was. Maybe she would run into her one day but right now she just needed money, and she needed an education.
So she enrolled in the local community college, taking her son with her as the college had a day care.
This was a blessing to her. She enrolled first so she could work towards her diploma, next she began working towards a nursing degree, and she wanted to provide for her son. She could not do that on the wages she earned at the local diner. The hours there were long and the customers often rude, she hated that place. So she worked to better herself and to make a better life for Tommy. She put all the checks that Ralph sent into the bank only using what she really needed determined that one day that money would belong to Tommy. His life would be easier she would make sure of it.
As Tommy grew she decided that she would take little Tommy to church. She remembered the church that the other Tommy's mom had taken her to so many years ago, she wondered if there was still a church there. She wondered if Tommy's mom was still alive. Would she remember her if she was.
Well much to her delight she found the church was still there. So she started attending not that she had yet accepted Christ but because she wanted Tommy to have things in his life she had not had. She thought church would be good for her and Tommy. She had very little understanding. So she went to the church attending several weeks, at first not seeing the other Tommy's family. They had left on a short term mission's trip.
After attending a few weeks she had decided she like the church a lot, and the people were friendly so she wanted to become a member so she went to the pastor and told him she would like to join the church her and her son.
Well the pastor did something she was not expecting at all, he started asking questions, questions she did not understand or believe was any of his business. First he asked her about her relationship with God, did she know Jesus as her Lord and Saviour. Was she a born again Christian?
Then after that he asked even more personal questions, was she married, divorced, etc. Then he went on to say that the only way she could join the church was if she had accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour, then followed that up with believers Baptism. This was not what she had expected this pastor to say. Really she felt quite offended. How dare he ask her whether or not she believed in God, how dare him tell her she was a sinner that needed to be saved. She left that day slightly angry, but she did take the little books that the pastor gave her that explained the plan of salvation. He had given these to her when he saw he was making no progress with her, instead she had became more and more angry.
Well to shorten this a little in time Becky did get saved. And Becky was able to speak with the other Tommy's mom. She was even able to truthfully tell her what had really happened that night so long ago. And she was able finally to gain closure because she found that Tommy's mom had forgiven all of them many years ago, that she had in fact prayed for her salvation, and Ralphs and even Michelle's salvation almost daily.
Becky would be the first of the three to accept Christ as her saviour, but it would take her sometime years in fact to fully lay all of the burdens that were in her heart at the foot of Christ leaving them there so that Christ could give her peace. But in time she would.
In fact it was shortly before Ralph came via way of an ambulance to the emergency room late one evening. He still looked the same, although he was bloody bleeding from injuries obtained in an accident. An accident right where he had once left the other Tommy to die, the night had been foggy, just as he came to the place where he had left Tommy so many years ago, he had a flat tire. He must have run over a nail or something he did not know. It was dark and foggy. The night was eerily chilly for this time of year, taking out his cell phone he thought to call for help, but his cell phone had no signal. It was late; no one had any lights on. He remembered the store he had seen back on the corner looked to be closed. He had tried to shake the feeling someone was watching him, tried to forget, tried to not hear the words that were echoing within his mind..."please help me...help me please..."
Just as he had walked back around to get in back in his car someone had came speeding down the road as he once had. Never seeing him, because of the fog, that is when he opened his eyes, seeing himself laying in a ditch. Was this the same ditch that Tommy had laid in? He did not remember it being so deep. He could see someone looking into the ditch, he could hear them talking. He felt his lips move...."please...please help me... help me please" He saw someone a shadow looking down at him, it was dark. Then he heard someone say I'll be right back I'm going to get help, my phone does not have a signal here. Then he heard someone else say, I'll stay here with you while he goes for help.
Then he felt a blanket or jacket being placed around him. Now he was fading in and out, trying to not look in the direction of death, he could feel the angel of death as he reached for his soul. No... he thought to himself...no I am not ready to die. Even as he screamed these words in his head, he thought is this what Tommy thought, is this what Tommy did, did Tommy see the angel of death as he came for his soul? Fighting to stay alive he begins to hear other voices, suddenly the night lights up as if it were day. He feels someone pick him up, and then he drifts off unaware he is being placed into an ambulance, unaware he is being rushed to ICU.
It is while he is in the hospital that he will come to know Christ, the one who he hurt so cruelly so many years ago would be the same one who would show him forgiveness the same one who would lead him to a saving knowledge of Christ. Sadly he would not live very long after his salvation, because the years had taken their toil his body weakened by long hours, weakened further because of the nightmares. The death angel would stand in his door way waiting, waiting to take his soul.
But just as he closed his eyes in death he would see Jesus step between him and the angel of death, he would see Jesus push the death angel away, saying it is for this soul I died, that he may have life everlasting. Jesus would then lift his soul from his body, and carry him through to heaven. Where he would walk the streets of gold, where he would meet Tommy for the first time, since the "incident".
Praise God!!! Shouted Tommy as he saw Ralph walking towards him, Praise God!!! Turning Ralph saw his parents. They had accepted Christ one day in the nursing home that came to be their last home on this earth. They had tried so hard to tell Ralph the good news while he was yet alive but he would not listen thinking them to be senile. Years of regret suddenly washed over him, just as the tears started to fall Jesus was there again wiping all the tears from his eyes. Heaven it was more beautiful than any place he had ever dreamed, more beautiful than he had ever even thought any place could be. And peace, there was peace, he had at last found peace, he had found love, more than that he had found life.
Turning he looked through the windows of heaven just in time to see Michelle as she was kneeling at the altar of a church many miles from the town where they had once both lived. He saw the tears fall, from her eyes, turning once again, he sees an angel with a bottle. What is in the bottle? He asks quite sharply. Smiling the angel says these are the tears of the saints. These are the prayers that were prayed for you and for her...pointing out the window to Michelle. These are answered prayers.
Someone had prayed for him? But who, who had cared enough to pray? Again the angel pointed out the window, looking down he sees Tommy's mom, praying. Praying what he could not know because the prayers said from the heart only God can hear. Only God can answer. The angel again points, and now reply's to Ralph even as Tommy's mothers heart was breaking, she prayed for you, your parents, your family and your friends, she prayed nearly every day. Often asking others to pray, asking God to have mercy on you, on your family. It is because of her prayers that God in his mercy did not allow you to die many times over the years.
The angel of death often sought to take your soul, to hell is where the death angel would of taken you, but Tommy's mom, prayed, others prayed, they stood in the gap for you. Praying that God would give you one more chance, praying that you would not die unless you had first accepted Christ, praying often that you would be safe, that God in his mercy would send someone to show you the gospel, someone who you would listen to and believe.
Your family and your friends were also prayed over daily. Your parents were saved because of the ministry that the church Becky now attends, has at the nursing home where your parents lived out their final days on earth. Your parents then also prayed, praying daily for your salvation, they also prayed for their lost loved ones and friends, even old enemies. Daily giving thanks to God praising God for his grace and mercy.
In wonder Ralph began to walk down the streets of gold seeing those who had prayed, seeing those whom he had thought were from a fairy tale. This was no fairly take he was alive, he was more alive than he had ever been. He was at peace, he felt rested, and he felt love.
The cry that had echoed that day so long ago, still echoes today..."please help me... help me please"
Do you hear the cry? It is the cry of the lost, the cry of the unsaved, those who know not Christ. If you cannot go and tell someone today of the one who loved enough to die that we may have life, can you pray? Have you accepted Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour today? If you have who have you told. Who have you prayed for today?
Within the spiritual ream is the battle for the soul fought, the final battle has already been won, it is for the individual that the battle rages now. Won't you go, won't you pray, someone one somewhere today, is asking for help. Someone is seeking God. Don't turn your back away, because someone needs you today.
Pray today, so that one day your loved ones you will see in heaven, pray today so someone will have the strength to go on another day, pray today because someone loved you enough to die for you. Pray today because someone cares for you. Pray today because someone is asking you to send help their way.
Pray, is what the scriptures say, pray without ceasing, pray come what may. Pray and trust the Lord your God. For he is the only one who will bring healing to your life, he is the only one who will carry you safely home.
Pray because someone needs help, pray because someone is only a breath away from eternity, the angel of death stands at the door, and pray that his way may be blocked. Pray that another soul will trust in Christ alone. Pray because God loves you.
No comments:
Post a Comment