Unhealthy Relationships (2011)

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Unhealthy Relationships




Identification of an unhealthy relationship is usually made by someone who is not loosely intertwined within the relationship.



Unhealthy relationships are identified as relationships in which one party or more tried to control or dictate another's person's life. Normally you will find this type of behavior present in abusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.



However, you may also find these relationships in relationships between adults. As in parents who refuse to believe their adult children are adults. Demonstrated via way of forced or manipulated interference and disruption of the adult child's life, this is often accomplished in a number of very sinister deeds.



If there had previously been a history of manipulative behavior or abuse between the adult and parent years prior, this may continue if contact is not broken for a time. Often the adult will find that limited contact is possible, however, there are situations that dictate otherwise.




Continued long term disruption in the lives of adult children will often create the very thing the parent of the adult child desires least. This is complete alienation of the parent adult child relationship, or a permanent separation between the parent, and adult children.



In turn this also means the parent will have no contact with any grandchildren. This may be fully justified or it may not. Depending on whether the relationship was abusive, -or merely meddling.
The meddler does create stress and strife however not so much as the abusive person. However, if the situation involves someone who is meddlesome, and also abusive, who seeks to control or dictate someone else's life then you have a problem.



What is least understood by those unaffected by an unhealthy relationship is the fact being if this type of relationship exists it did not develop overnight. If it involves a parent child relationship, it most likely started very early in the life of the adult, it can seem to be normal.



However, as the adult moves along in life, over time it will become apparent this is atypical behavior, or not normal. The problem now for the adult child is how to break the hold the dictator meddling parent has established over the years. This is however often not as easy as someone uninvolved never having experienced this may believe.



Habitual behavior is very difficult and often cumbersome to break. New habits and routines must be established. Those who have been dictation, meddling, and in general trying to control the lives of another person will most often not see that they have a problem.



Instead they will see any resistance as a personal attack on themselves. Depending on the mentality of the person who has been working towards dictating the life of another person, this can have serious and often unpleasant consequences.



Sometimes a sudden break is the only option, sometimes a gradual break is possible, and less painful for all parties involved. However, most often a gradual break will not be a full and complete break.



Clear boundaries must be identified early on, in the life of the adult child, if not both the adult child and the parent of the adult child may never establish a healthy adult relationship.



Something every adult needs to remember is this; no other adult should ever forcefully and manipulatively dictate any other adult's life, purely for the purpose of making themselves to feel superior to someone else.