Bitter Sweet Christmas Memories.....an article from 2009

This was an assignment, "sad Christmas memories" this was a non-exclusive, performance pay article. Nov. 2009



http://voices.yahoo.com/bitter-sweet-christmas-memories-4897852.html?cat=10



Bitter Sweet Christmas Memories


Bitter Sweet Christmas Memories


Sometimes, I think Christmas is really one of the saddest times of the year. I have so many sad Christmas memories.



I can remember the year that I was told I was too old for Christmas gifts. I was around twelve at that time. That was a little sad. But I survived. And at that time something like that just seemed normal I guess.



Then I can remember a few Christmas's that were really good. Like the year we made Christmas cookies for hours and the neighbor kids helped. Then Christmas morning we had a silver Christmas tree. And a cardboard play house, that was a mostly good Christmas memory.



The Christmas we were snowed in that was an interesting Christmas; the National Guard came out to where we lived at that time. They arrived by helicopter and snowmobile, one even dressed up like a Santa Claus, that was pretty neat. Especially for the six year old I was at that time. Or maybe I was a little younger I don't really remember. It's been such a long time ago.



Then there was the year that I married my husband, that was a good Christmas in some ways, but we didn't really get to celebrate or do anything special. We did get snowed in for about two weeks. But only a few people were snowed in so the National Guard was not called out, like they were the year that the blizzard came, when I was much younger.



Then there was the year that our first child had his first Christmas. He was so cute dressed up in a little red outfit, and later a blue outfit. He was just big enough to crawl around the tree good. He loved the train that his daddy set up to go around and around the tree. This is a bittersweet memory because there will be no more Christmas's with my son, because he was killed by a hit and run driver not long after he turned 18 years old.



I wanted so badly to have a good Christmas the year he died, we had so many stressful years, and so many years of just making do. I had planned to buy all new outfits for all of our children. I also wanted to buy other gifts for all of my children, and I wanted to make a really nice Christmas dinner, with all the trimmings. But instead we faced that year with our son gone, due to someone else's carelessness. It was very hard.



I think that both the Christmas of 2006 and 2007 were very hard. Because in 2006 we were looking forward to the arrival of a baby, our baby was due Dec.4. But we lost the baby due to a miscarriage in early July. I knew this would likely be our last baby, due to my age, and health. So when we lost this baby it really hit me hard.



I think that Christmas is a time when if we are not careful we remember all of the bad things too vividly and forget to take time to think about the good things in our lives.



I know that I have been very guilty of this at times.



Perhaps this year will be better. I know that I cannot buy gifts this year, but maybe we can bake lots and lots of cookies and give some away too.