Lost Testimony ..................a poem that I wrote back in 2011

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Lost Testimony



I love you, you love me.
We're just one great big happy family.



Storms come my way, you step back in dismay.
I seek your confidence, your counsel, yet you turn away.



Believing me at fault, you curse, and say words so very mean, so vile.
Sealing forever the fact that it is with God alone I must endure this fiery trial.



Seeking to believe, just once that someone really did care, how I did dare.
Dared once in isolation once again, to almost believe, yet it was a trap, for truly a gift does blind, especially those with many a harsh and cruel care.



Poking and prodding you as others begin to dig.
Needling, needling until at last a mad raging vileness fills the well dug rig.



Raging words, awful words, harsh words, and then you turn and say it was only me.
Only me, it was only me at fault, you had no part in the explosion, no part, words however fly free.



Words fly fast, words fall free, words once bound by a bitten tongue, fly free.
Spoken words ensuring the pain that's been inflicted upon the bound tongue will also see the hurtful words as from their bounds they flee.



Stunned, amazed, and bewildered you believe yourself to be the victim, as no faults do you claim.
A raging war of words, with a straight face, you believe the sole account of discord is held alone by my name.



However, my dearest friend, how is it you see not your own words, how do you forget other's face trials unknown to you.
Believing you know all circumstances due to age, how is it you know all but what is true?



Sowing seeds of discord, disharmony too, how is it you believe yourself free?
A self provoked incident, you believe a "heart of lies" lies within me.



Laughing mocking you go your own way.
Staring as you leave, I remember the fray.



Knowing my fault, seeing the provocation, words spoken so swift to another I've left a cruel witness, by my words is flavored a bad taste.
How soon it is the unbound tongue flings itself so wild as to cause such amazing distress, to cause great waste?


Seeing the shattered pieces, I see the finality; I see the crystal shards of broken glass, these words of the destroyer.
Used by Satan, allowing provocation to overwhelm, how soon did I forget the "true warrior"?



Words flung out; cruel it is true, no excuse, no excuse, yet, still how can one say they'll never see bitten words flee their bounds.
Believing yourself innocent, covering your own shame with works of self-righteousness, how is it you see not the many bloody wounds?



Laughing, walking away, you say things so harsh so mean, never seeing yourself, never knowing you too share in the blame.
Still, my lips must remain sealed, sealed till death, as there are many hurts many trials, many wounds I could clearly name.



I love you, you love me?
We're one great big happy family?



Hate filled words betray the words; words you know reveal the heart.
Now, I know we must surely forever part.



But my dearest and best, how is it you never can see the reflection in the mirror, do you still not know?
My dearest and best, how is it, you know still today, not where you may go?



Believing many a false error, believing a raging roar of provocation confirms a lie.
My dearest, how soon it is many will forever cry.



You see no hope, you see only a wadded up pile of trash.
You forget that you too, were made from the dust that lies within the ash.



Believing salvation is unsure, believing security is a lie, you condemn as you walk throughout your day.
Holding your head high, held in pride, you believe you must clean your way.



Clean every day, every hour, every minute, every second, for you have no security.
Believing you can never be sure, you've accepted a cruel lie, will forever your heart truly from the one great truth flee?



Looking all around how is it you believe a price to you it is owed?
My dearest and best, how is it you cannot see that all your debt it has truly been forever paid, your debt as mine it can be forever towed.


Towed away, tossed into the depths of the sea, never more to be remembered, if on "His Holy Name" you will but call.
Mocking me though, you point back to my sin, that stands ever tall.



How soon the bound words flee, words not from the heart, but words spoken through grief, through pain.
Yet, how tight are these words to bound, forever will these words haunt the depths of the night, will forever the cruelty flow as rain?



I love you, you love me.
We've one great big happy family.



Praying for you, yet, my words have betrayed the pain hidden within the heart.
How soon, will we forever part?



Will remembrance forever be of the provocation, will forever these words be multiplied, added too, embellished and cherished?
Cherished because they are the words you wished to draw out of the depths, drawing them out how is it you pretend to be the victim?



Pretending innocence you go your way.
Pretending I alone am to blame you delight to see the disarray.



Believing a lie, holding tight to a false doctrine, a doctrine of devils, you call yet another to pray.
And I know for you I must forgive, I must remember this battle though lost, is not the end, it is but one small battle, and still the war it rages, so for you still I must pray.



As you battle with cruel words, as you pray believing you pray to God, yet taking counsel of devils, I see so clearly the hindrance I've been.
You I may never win, for I at once allowed bound words to flee, so now I pray another will soon for "His" glory you forever win.



You see my dearest and best I do not hate, as you believe, how can I?
As my heart it is filled with compassion, it is filled with God's love, even for you, this my dearest is no lie.



However, my dearest and best I've news you may not know.
The news it is this, listen carefully so that you too may know this great truth, as soon I must go.



The news my dear, it is this; though my soul has been forever sealed, saved eternally, my flesh it has not.
Within my body a war does rage, the war it is between my flesh, and my soul, at times the war it rages ever so hot.



My dearest and best, I once as you bore a stain.
A stain so vile, so disgusting it could be seen from the heights of the highest heavens.



This stain, this mark it was my bar, my barrier forever if not removed.
However no good works, no new revelation this stain would ever cause it to be moved.



You see, I listened to you, and I heard your words, I went via way of the false doctrine, I listened till I saw the lie.
A lie, a lie so cruel my sanity in jeopardy before I learned the truth I sought was not to be found in the erroneous false doctrines, to which I'd been exposed. Still I was drawn to the truth that will forever the tears dry.



I love you, you love me.
We're one great big happy family.



Staring at me, you can't believe I've forsaken the false erroneous teaching to which to me was given.
Looking all around, with gratefulness I am forever thankful, that I've finally forever truly had my debt forever forgiven.



Forgiven, I am, perfect today I am not.
Words spoken in anger can never be recalled, how is it my flesh did rage so hot?



With grace, with humility too, I apologize to you.
My apology it is extended, my hurts to "Him" alone I give, as I've no excuse.



No excuse, for I've accepted forgiveness, that has been extended down to all.
However this gift, of forgiveness, this gift of life, it is a gift that still for many others does call.



My dearest and best, my poor testimony, my poor witness has no excuse.
As the one I follow, the one I believe to be true, "He" too, was abused, cursed, mocked and scorned, misunderstood, and still never did utterance "He" proclaim of the "cruel ruse".



A lie, it was told, a lie so big, so broad, that all Heaven held its breath, the angel's stood still waiting watching to see.
A lie, a ruse, it was, but to death it led, an innocent man, innocent, yet, "He" died for you, and for me.



My price it was so high, my debt, my stain, so brilliant, so dark, so heavy, my punishment more than I could bear.
Rising swiftly from "His" throne, "He" placed himself in my shoes. It was the only way my weight, my curse could he fully wear.



Wearing my curse, "He" saw my soon unending torment; "He" knew my soon coming pain.
Fulfilling the requirement, paying the price, "He" placed my curse upon "Himself" forever removing my stain.



Yet, "He" had but one request, one most definite and sincere request, the most important of all.
His last request, it was on "Him" to trust and believe that of "His" finished work that'll never stall.



You see my dearest and best, though I may fail in many ways, never will the one who holds me in "His" hand ever faint or fall, never will I fall from "His" hand.
My friend, I'm not perfect, this is true, but my dearest and best, it is not on my works, nor my perfection that I trust, it is on "Him" alone that seals forever my final fate, forever with "Him" will my trust stand.



Listen carefully, try to remember, I've apologized to you, and try to remember to that someone paid for all my crimes.
My dearest and best, though you may never forgive, it is not on your forgiveness, that I've placed many rhymes.



Forever, my dear, it is so much longer than the worldly grave.
Though the situation may be dire, never shall I fear, because it is on "His" complete and finished work, I know forever am I saved to Heaven's shores, though I may linger going through the grave.



My dearest and best, though I may stumble, though I may fall, never will I fall from "His" saving grace.
You see my dear friend; "He" loved me so much that "He" completely filled my shoes, finishing my long hard race.



Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never be. My testimony, blown away, I know from you I must go away.
But my dearest and best, if you will, remember that though I may fail, never will Jesus Christ who is my Lord, ever fail, never will "His" love stray.



Laugh, scorn and mock if you must, but my dearest and best, I wish for you to know that today I pray for you.
I pray for you, because you know not at what you stumble and fall, I pray for you, because you've never fully heard the true tune.



Never hearing the truth, blinded by error, the fault alone with me does lie.
You see my dearest and best, I know who holds the future, I know who holds my hand, I've no doubt, you see my dear, I'm forever sealed. Because my dear my God cannot lie.



My God has told me I can know, my God has told me that "it is not of works, lest any should boast".
No, new revelation have I, it is forever sealed, signed, and stamped in blood, that none need roast.



You see my dearest and best, my flesh it will fail, my flesh it is as yours, it is only my soul that is different.
You see, I linger today in this vessel of flesh, knowing I've a new home in Heaven, this place soon I will shed, though in full has "He" paid my full rent.



My dearest and best, harsh words spoken it is true, provoked still yet this is true.
However my dear, I offer to you an apology with no excuse.



Not for your sake, nor for mine do I extend and apology, but for "His" and "His" alone.
Now my dear, I must go once and again, to pray, as "He" has paid in full for all my sins, you see I've fully trusted in the only one who is able to fully atone.



Atoning for my every sin, "He" has paid for all my crimes.
Remember my dearest and best, the bill for me, it was paid long ago, before my time.