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What is Forgiveness? Part Two
What is forgiveness? Part two
As I stated in part one, I wanted to expand on how holding on to hurt's caused by others is a major stumbling block in the life of the Christian.
This is true both for the one who was abused or hurt, and also for the one who inflicted the pain, hurt or abuse.
Sometimes a person can be sincerely sorry or remorseful for something that they have done, and do all they know to do to make amends. But the other party refuses to accept the apology. This may cause someone to doubt if God really will forgive them of all their sins.
It can also cause someone who has not quite came to the place where they see their need for Christ to have no reason for hope of forgiveness from God. Believing themselves to have committed the "unpardonable sin."
This is an especially bad testimony on the part of a victim who needs to learn to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that you must stay in contact or visit regularly. It can mean that especially in the case of parent child relationships.
For example sometimes a victim of child abuse, will grow up, and move away. Not intending or wanting to have any contact with a parent or other relative who was abusive to them. Believing themselves justified.
Sometimes however the adult child will continue a relationship of sorts with the parent or relative who was previously abusive.
This may or may not be good. In some cases the abuse continues on into adulthood, just in a different form. This can be in the form trying to control through intimitation. This can cause many hardships.
This type of abuse can also be very difficult to forgive. But it is important for the sanity of the victim to find a way to forgive. Because holding onto this will only create a burden and a hardship on the victim.
Sometimes all you can do in a situation like mentioned above where the former child victim is now an adult victim of this type of abuse is to separate from the abuser. Remaining in contact with someone who is continuously abusive is enabling the abuser to continue with the abusive behavior.
The abusive party needs to know that while someone may forgive them, there are consequences for actions. These consequences are often painful.
Especially for someone who is in denial that they were ever abusive to start with.
Staying away can be better than having contact if you are unsure of your ability to remain peaceable towards someone who has created a great deal of grief in your life.
If you are able to remain peaceable and kind towards someone who has been abusive towards you. Then you may in time be able to win them for Christ. This is not possible in every situation.
If you have had many bad experiences with someone it will not be easy to be kind to them, even if they are older, sickly, or basically in a very bad condition.
But if you are able to find a way to overcome any bitterness you may have you may be the very person who can show an undeserving person, what true forgiveness really is.
It is easy to forgive something's. But other things are not so easy. Easy things to forgive are things like spilled milk, broken windows, wrecked cars, lost items, etc.
Hard things to forgive are things like sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, murder, deaths, arson, lost of a limb etc.
Things that cannot replaced, cannot be fixed or changed these are things that are very hard to forgive when someone causes us these kinds of hurts.
But for those that are able to forgive those who have done unforgiveable things, you are showing someone how God forgive us.
None of us deserve forgiveness and none of have done anything to merit forgiveness.
When Jesus Christ was crucified for our sins, he was completely and totally innocent of all sin, yet he chose to take the debt we owe and pay that debt for us.
Not only did he did that, but he also forgave us. When it was because of us he hung on the cross. He was shamed, beaten, and abused yet he chose to forgive those who did all those things, and also all of us.
Christ set the example for all of us to follow, forgiving us when we did not merit it or deserve it.
Those who have abused us, and caused us harm may very well not deserve or merit our forgiveness. But when we choose to forgive we are showing by our example Christ's love to others.
When we refuse to forgive we are basically saying that our pain and hurt is more or worse than that suffered and endured by Christ. Christ was completely innocent yet he was abused, mocked, and killed.
To be Christ-like means that we have to forgive those who do not deserve it, it also means that we have to learn to let go of the things that others have done to cause us pain, grief and heartache.
Forgiveness is not always easy, but it will bring healing to our own lives. Forgiveness also brings us closer to God. Last true forgiveness may cause someone who is well on their way to Hell to be converted.
Not one of us deserve forgiveness, all of us deserve Hell. But God in his infinite mercy gives all who accept His son's gift to us, what we do not deserve.
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