If only it were truly possible to speak to someone who had passed away too soon, but sadly it is not possible.
This was also written in memory of my oldest son.
http://voices.yahoo.com/if-were-possible-632520.html?cat=10
If It Were Possible...
A Fictional Interview with One Gone Onto Eternity
Today I want us to think about what we might say to someone who had passed on before us.
We will pretend that a loved one has come back from the grave to grant us this interview. For our intent we will not be interviewing any loved ones who may have not gone on to heaven. To interview someone who had gone on to hell would not be so pleasant for our minds to think on.
So we will think of someone who has gone on to heaven.
For this interview I have chosen to speak to my son.
You see my son was killed this year; lots of things were left unsaid. Because he still had his whole life ahead of him. He had not planned to die, but the fact remains he did.
Okay, so now I will pretend to ask my son some questions, and will pretend that he has the ability to answer me from the grave.
Me: Jonathan, How was your last day?
Jonathan: My last day was a day of anticipation, or expectation. I awoke early, as you will remember. I wanted to be sure I got to class on time, but not too early. I had decided that I would work towards some personal goals I had set for myself.
Me: Jonathan, could you tell us what some of those goals were?
Jonathan: Yes, mom, I can. I had decided that I wanted to be able to live on my own one day, and that meant I would need a job. I did not want to have to settle for just any job though. That is why I wanted to go to school; I wanted to get a degree in history. Because I really liked history, math on the other hand I did not like and had little use for.
Me: Jonathan, why did you want to live on your own? Was there any reasons other than you were becoming an adult.
Jonathan: yes, as you know there was someone I really cared about in my life. I had even asked her to marry me at one time. But there was no way I could get married and not be able to support a family. Remember you always said that we needed to learn how to stand on our own two feet, because one day you and dad would not be around to help us. Well I thought about that a lot. I also read a lot.
Me: Yes, everyone knew you loved to read.
Jonathan: as I was saying I thought about the things you and dad said. And I did a lot of reading. I also thought about why it was I could not do everything I wanted to do. Also I thought about things like why was I so different from my brother. I mean we looked a lot alike. But I was not gifted in the same ways as he is. As I was thinking suddenly it dawned on me, if God had made me exactly like my brother, or my brother exactly like me he would of made robots. God did not want us to be robots; God wants us to be able to think for ourselves. To follow him because we want to, not because that someone makes us. I had also gotten saved a few months prior to my death. This also played a part in my thinking. I started really questioning things like, why was it that I could not get a job and do something with my life, I was not disabled. I had seen others who were disabled, even read about some. Some of these disabled people were doing a lot more than me, and doing well. So why should I not be able to. I thought about the man that stayed with us that time who only had one leg. He was going all over the place, yet he only had one leg. I thought about that lady on BBN (Joni Erickson Tada). She is paralyzed from the neck down, yet she is a regular speaker, and is thankful for the things she does have. She even gives praises to God. Then I thought about me. Here I was with two good legs and arms, yet I was allowing a small thing like autism get the better of me. Well at the time I did not think it was a small thing, and I just wanted it gone. I hated that I had asperger's. Then I started using that as an excuse for poor behavior at times. But you would not buy it. You said you did not care if I did have a diagnoses, I could overcome it.
Me: Yes, I remember.
Jonathan: You also told me about some things that you had over came in your own life. Over time this made an impact on me. Because I started noticing that even when you did get mad, you generally had a reason a long time before losing your temper.
Me: Yes, I have had a problem many times holding my tongue in check.
Jonathan: Well, I got to thinking that maybe you were right. Maybe I could do some things. Maybe I was not gifted in the same areas as my brother, but I did have my own talents. Also with lots of practice and study I could do some of the same things as my brother. I just had to work at it. I also had to work at not being jealous because God had made me to be me, and my brother to be my brother.
Me: I had noticed that you and your brother had started getting along better. I remember that you both went fishing with your uncle. Then while your brother and sister cleaned the fish according to how they were told, you got a book out and went by the photographs. At the time I thought it was so funny, because you wanted to go by the book. I even wrote an article about it. I found that this was very entertaining.
Jonathan: Yes, I believe I can see now how that would have been entertaining. Both my brother and I were "experts" or so we thought.
Me: Jonathan I don't have much time left, but I would like to ask you a couple more questions, okay?
Jonathan: Okay.
Me: Jonathan if you could what would you say to your dad?
Jonathan: I would say, dad I am sorry I kept interrupting you while you were trying to do whatever it was you were doing the night before I died. I remember you had gone in the other room so you could use the phone or something. Then I followed you wanting to go on and on about something unrelated. Something that really was not all that important. I should have waited, instead of wanting to be center of attention. I knew that I was upsetting you, but I wanted my way. I could have waited a few minutes. I know that now you are haunted by telling me to leave you alone a few minutes. Dad, I love you I am sorry that I kept at you. I just wanted your attention. Don't worry though; I will talk to you again one day. We have all eternity to talk. Right now though mom needs you as do my brothers and sister, so you need to work on getting healthy. No amount of grieving will bring me back to your world...Dad, right now you are needed where you are, I will have all eternity to talk to you. We can do our catching up then. Don't worry dad everything is going to be okay.
Me: Jonathan, I really have to hurry it's nearly time for us to go. Your brother has to go to work. Also your dad has gone back to school. He is going fulltime now, his job ended. So he is unemployed now.
Jonathan: That's fine mom. I have all eternity to talk to you all. I do want to let you all know that I still love you all. I know you're in a hurry. Time is different here though, when you get to heaven you will find that what once seemed like a long time was really not all that long at all. Really just a few seconds or that is how long it will seem since we parted.
Tell my brothers and sisters to be good, stay healthy and do their best in everything they do. Also tell them to remember to always thank God for their blessings. To help others when they can. Tell everyone to not worry, we will meet again. I will look forward to seeing you all again. Learn to forgive easily even when things are hard. Tell them too that they have to forgive the one who took my life. When they have learned to forgive things will be easier for them. They can live joyful and full lives, but they need to not become bitter.
Finally the first step towards healing will be for everyone to learn to forgive. Forgive because we serve a just God. He is faithful, all of us at various times have done things we should not. No one sin is worse than any other in the eyes of God. And all have need of salvation. Salvation comes not thru man, but thru faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
Me: Jonathan, thank you for stepping back to speak with me, even if it is only in imagination. I am sorry that you suffered the way that you did. Nothing I can do or say will bring you back to us, so I will look forward to seeing you again when we have time to talk more in-depth.
Jonathan: Mom, it's time for you to go. I will talk to you another time; remember you said you wanted to talk to me when I got home?
Me: Yes, Jonathan I did say that, but I never got to speak to you.
Jonathan: But mom, I am home, I am just waiting for you...
This concludes our fictional interview with my son. I await the time when I will see my son again. I know my son is safe in the arms of our Lord and Saviour. So I must be about the things I still have left to do in this world.
The hour is late and there is much left to be done.
Thank you for taking time to read this fictional interview. Death is only a temporary state for those who are saved, it is a total separation and utter devastation for those who die lost.
If you are really and truly saved, knowing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour live each day as though you expect to see Jesus. Because you may meet Jesus sooner than you think.
If you reach heaven before I do, tell my children that I will be along shortly my work here is not yet finished. I am still busy.
And now I really must go....
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